Ask For Help

If you're an emerging playwright, asking for things kinda goes with the territory.  Every application is basically asking for an invitation to the party; you often ask mentors to write you recommendations, you probably find yourself asking people to come to your readings or shows or read scripts and give feedback.

After a while, it can start to feel like begging.  After a while, you can start to feel like you're imposing on people, sucking relationships dry.

I'd reached that point -- the point where I was *literally* afraid to ask a recommender for one more letter, or put up one more "hey! come to my reading" facebook post.  And then I did a 180-degree turn.  Why?  Because I was at the end of my rope.  Just...discouraged, wheel-spinning, you name it.

So.  I made a list of organizations I wanted to work with -- not a long list, just the ones that really got me jazzed.  And I (very timidly) asked someone I know if she could broker introductions.  I mentioned specific people.  I figured she'd tell me to go away.

Instead, she reached out to ALL of them.  And I've had meetings with ALL of them.  And I've met some lovely, engaging, engaged people...who may or may not be "of use" to me and my plays, who may or may not connect with my writing, but who renewed my faith that the New York theater community need not be a terrifying monolith.

And I realized those introductions were always there, waiting to be made, but that it was MY job to seek them out -- to be SPECIFIC and PROACTIVE about who I thought should see my work.

Then I thought: "okay, that went well...what else is on my 'wish list,' and how can I turn that wish into a reality?"

I called my friend who works at Brown, and I asked if I could come and guest lecture.  I asked for admission to some fantastic playwriting workshops, and I asked for (necessary) scholarships.  I invited a couple of directors who I deeply admire over to hear a new play of mine aloud.  I invited a brilliant friend of mine, who works in artist development, to lead a professional development workshop for me and my friends at my house.

I've now guest-lectured at Brown, done two workshops, deepened relationships with a couple of great directors, learned a ton about artistic professional development, shared that information with friends, and made a couple of new friends.  NONE of it would have happened if I hadn't asked. 

Now, at Brown, a girl asked me how I'd gotten the opportunities I'd had.  And I told her that every single opportunity I've had has come because, at some point, a friend helped me out.  And the flip side of this should be clear:  I think we, as artists, have moral obligations to help each other where we can.  That's what we mean by theater community -- whether it's showing up at somebody's doorstep with soup, offering a couch for a night or ears for an afternoon, making an introduction or passing on a terrific script, or simply (and perhaps most importantly) reminding each other that we value each other above and beyond our ability to be professionally useful...we weave ourselves together as a community one thread of obligation at a time.  And that's beautiful.

So.  I need to keep figuring out who and how to ask for what I really need.  And I need to keep thinking about what support (both moral and practical) I can give to the artists around me.  How about you?